by Matthew Cassidy

Christmas morning is finally upon us, as the NFL gears up for an event that rivals only the Super Bowl in terms of both anticipation and scale-of-production.  We’ll discover how much of the prior month’s endless series of intrigue was for real, and how much will fade off into the Nashville sunset like the sad notes of a banjo.

The NFL draft is a series of domino chains that can be sent in cataclysmic directions if even one piece should land in an odd place.  That’s when GM’s phones start ringing off the hook and everything we thought we knew gets turned upside-down.

‘Tis the season for mocks and predictions.  Here is my doomsday version, in which Round One descends into utter chaos.  Enjoy!

1. Kyler Murray, Miami (from Arizona)
2. Nick Bosa, Oakland (from San Francisco)
3. Quinnen Williams, New York Jets
4. Devin White, San Francisco (from Oakland)
5. Josh Allen, DE, Tampa Bay
6. Ed Oliver, DT, New York Giants
7. Jawaan Taylor, OT, Jacksonville Jaguars
8. Dwayne Haskins, QB, Washington Redskins (from Detroit)
9. T.J. Hockenson, TE, Buffalo Bills
10. Daniel Jones, QB, New York Giants (from Denver)
11. Jonah Williams, OT/G, Cincinnati Bengals
12. Devin Bush, LB, Green Bay Packers
13. Marquise Brown, WR, Arizona (from Miami)
14. Byron Murphy, CB, Atlanta Falcons
15. Christian Wilkins, DT, Detroit Lions (from Washington)
16. Montez Sweat, DE, Carolina Panthers
17. Drew Lock, QB, Denver (from New York Giants)
18. Chris Lindstrom, G, Minnesota Vikings
19. D.K. Metcalf, WR, Tennessee Titans
20. Dexter Lawrence, DT, Pittsburgh Steelers
21. Brian Burns, DE, Seattle Seahawks
22. Jeffery Simmons, DT, Baltimore Ravens
23. Cody Ford, OT/G, Houston Texans
24. A.J. Brown, WR, San Francisco (from Oakland)
25. Brian Burns, DE, Philadelphia Eagles
26. Irv Smith Jr., TE, Indianapolis Colts
27. Josh Jacobs, RB, Oakland Raiders
28. Erik McCoy, C/G, Los Angeles Chargers
29.  N’Keal Harry, WR, Seattle Seahawks
30. Johnathan Abram, S, Green Bay Packers
31. Noah Fant, TE, Los Angeles Rams
32. Ryan Finley, QB, New England Patriots

Breakdown:

• One name we haven’t heard mentioned much at all is the Miami Dolphins.  Usually, that means they’re up to something.  Here, I have them making the draft’s biggest splash – trading all the way up to number one to select quarterback Kyler Murray.  It costs them a pretty penny to do it: 2019 (#13) & 2020 firsts, 2019 second (#48), and 2020 fourth.  Aside from Murray, Miami receives Arizona’s 2019 fifth (#139) and the teams will swap 6th round picks in 2020.
• Oakland, having secured a bevy of first round picks, cashes in one of them to move up and select OSU’s Nick Bosa.  Bosa isn’t just one of the top-rated defenders, he’s a splashy name that the team can roll out in its 2019 ad campaign.
• San Francisco is armed with the knowledge they will still land one of their top guys, and gladly adds the 24th pick to their repertoire.  Devin White gives them a three-down presence to slot alongside Kwon Alexander on what is shaping up to be a nasty, defensive line.
• Everyone knew Jacksonville wasn’t taking a quarterback, thus they were unable to trade out of the seventh pick.  They opt to draft by need, rather than best player available.
• The Washington Redskins make the draft’s second-biggest splash, moving up seven picks to number eight.  In exchange, they part with their 2019 second round pick (#44) and also a conditional 2020 fourth.  Washington also receives a 2019 seventh (#239).
• Everyone is paranoid that the Bengals, who are sitting at 11, will snag their quarterback.  Thus, the New York Giants trade up and get the guy they’ve been linked to: Daniel Jones.  To do that, they must part with their second round pick (#37) as well as the fourth-rounder (#142) they had previously-acquired from New Orleans.
• Arizona, after a much-ballyhooed love affair with Kyler Murray, decides to stay with Josh Rosen.  They use the 13th-pick to acquire Murray’s partner-in-crime, Marquise Brown, giving the Cardinals a dynamic weapon to slot opposite promising, second-year player Christian Kirk.
• The Bengals, for their part, take the ho-hum route and select an offensive guard.  The Andy Dalton era continues.
• Denver, after trading back, is still able to get Elway’s guy: Drew Lock.  The team releases an adamant statement that the selection does not affect Joe Flacco’s status as the unquestioned star, even as message board whispers begin.
• Tennessee wants to wow the home crowd with flash move, but doesn’t have the capital to move up.  Instead, they settle for Draft Combine-darling D.K. Metcalf, and the crowd erupts.
• Baltimore runs to the podium to select Mississippi State’s Jeffrey Simmons, whose stock fell due to injury (ACL).  It is later announced that he is ahead of schedule on rehab, and could make his rookie debut in late November.
• The Patriots provide a jolt at the round’s conclusion, selecting Ryan Finley to be the latest in a long line of promising apprentices to Tom Brady.